guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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