Whod you bang
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize