i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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