Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
This gyro tastes like lonliness
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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