so explain again why im purple
no
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
