I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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