I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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