So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
