Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize