You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
