Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My feet surprised me
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