oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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