We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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