I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
