I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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