16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
