i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
