So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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