they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
