god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
