your room smells of hookers.
And success
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
