There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Randomize
