I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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