the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
