God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
