Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
pray to the hookup gods
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
