So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
