Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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