Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
