either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Too much gin, very little bucket
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
