i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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