I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
This is the high leading the old right now
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Last time i carry you out of a forest
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
