nut hugger
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize