i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize