shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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