lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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