There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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