so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
