I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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