Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
