I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
