Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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