Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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