I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
