its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
