normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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