Your tits are I can't wait for
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
