everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
