while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
