am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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