Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
