Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
