Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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