Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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