Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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