Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
