yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
