I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
sarcasm needs its own font
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize