I think i peed on brittanys purse
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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